Mahtob Mahmoody, in her own story, recalls having been grabbed and spanked by her father at the age of 3 or four for the heinous act of watching The Smurfs with her big brother. Did Mahmoody have a responsibility to Mahtob to keep silent about what her father did? Was her decision to go public with what happened motivated by money and fame?
Was she being disingenuous regarding the circumstances surrounding her departure from the United States and about the length of her stay in Iran? Was she careless in divulging the details of her escape? My other, more urgent questions are, does Mahmoody even have the responsibility to avoid perpetuating such notions and images, most especially if, in her case, they happen to be the truth?
Might becoming a public figure and an emblem for social and legal justice have been a protective measure? After all, by all accounts, Said Mahmoody was clear, on multiple occasions, that he would find and kill her when or if she tried to escape, but not before he ensured that his daughter would be raised in a misogynistic war zone wherein she would be subject to abuse and compelled to renounce her faith, her way of life, and her place of birth.
To continue, is it fair of anyone to dismiss her story on the grounds that it casts Islamic culture in a negative light? May 12, Stacy rated it really liked it. Wow, that was scary. I do sympathize with her. She lived a total nightmare.
This book should be on the mandatory reading list of anyone thinking of going to the Middle East. View 2 comments. I was a little put off by the way the author categorized everything Iranian as "bad" and everything American as "good. View all 5 comments. Jan 20, Sandy Batesel rated it did not like it. For me this whole book rang untrue. I know I'm probably going to get a huge backlash for saying that but I just could not empathize with the author.
There is no doubt that women are treated differently in Muslim countries and with them I do empathize. However, Ms. Mahmoody had misgivings about taking her daughter to visit Iran before she went Yet she took her daughter and went anyway.
She handed over her passport to her h For me this whole book rang untrue. She handed over her passport to her husband when they landed in Iran, again, even though she had misgivings about it. The entire book is just one big complaint by Ms. During their escape several people put themselves in harms way, possibly even in a position where they could be killed for helping Ms. Mahmoody and her daughter, but she doesn't express very much appreciation for it.
She does, however, complain that every single household who helped them along the way served her "rancid" cheese that she couldn't even eat. I think Ms. Mahmoody did go through an ordeal in Iran. I also think, though, that she put herself in the position she was in. Not only did she put herself and her daughter in this position but then she spent every year since then manipulating her daughter against her father!
Jan 14, Kelly H. I'd like to give this book 2. I found the book interesting but it was sensationalistic and extremely culturally biased. The premise is horrific and I can completely understand her hatred and fear.
However, nothing is black and white and just because the way women are treated is abominable doesn't mean that everything in the culture is bad and everything the people do is wrong and horrible. The one scene that sticks out in my mind is that she spends hours every day picking tiny I'd like to give this book 2. The one scene that sticks out in my mind is that she spends hours every day picking tiny bugs out of the grain.
Most of the women don't bother, they just cook and eat the grain with the bugs in it. She is horrified and repulsed and uses this as proof that they're monsters.
Sure, as Americans we don't eat a lot of bugs voluntarily. We're grossed out by the concept. But lots of cultures eat bugs and if they're not harmful, who are we to judge? They probably have protein. Plus, who wants to spend hours every day picking bugs out of grain? I read this a long time ago so that's the only example I can remember off hand but I think it's important that we evaluate each piece of a society on its own merits and not just vilify the entire thing simply because we don't like part of it.
Jun 01, Caroline rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Fans of quality memoirs, those wanting to know more about international child abduction. Shelves: favorites , she-wrote-it , family-drama , nonfiction , truth-stranger-than-fiction , maximum-impact , memoir , page-turner , suspense , memorable-characters.
Not Without My Daughter is an astounding memoir that underscores just how little power women have in Iran. It's hard to believe Betty Mahmoody and her daughter survived their ordeal, but with Mahmoody's fierce persistence, they did. It was a harrowing escape, and I was captivated during this part especially. A movie version starring Sally Field and Alfred Molina was in theaters in January and is fantastic but pales in comparison to its thrilling, emotional source material.
On a final note: Not Without My Daughter is an astounding memoir that underscores just how little power women have in Iran. It shows what happened to Betty and her daughter after they escaped to America, while also explaining the heartbreaking phenomenon of international child abduction. Aug 04, Jessica rated it it was amazing Shelves: nonfiction. Such a harrowing story! After years of marriage and a beautiful child together, Betty agrees to travel with her husband to Iran to visit his family.
There he becomes a completely different person, and refuses to let her and their daughter leave. At one point she is literally held prisoner by her husband, and her journey out of Iran with her daughter actually turned her hair gray. This isn't completely a catalog of how awful Iran is, though. She gives its beauties their due, and also details meet Such a harrowing story! She gives its beauties their due, and also details meetings with kind and compassionate people.
She made many friends, and even among her in-laws there were those who were sympathetic to her plight. Many of her husband's relatives were actually shocked and scolded him for his treatment of her and their daughter, including his own mother.
An engrossing book. I was also fascinated by the follow-up, For Love of a Child, where she tells some of the stories of people who contacted her after her story was made public. She also details, in the follow up, what it was like to come back to America and try to put her life back together. She had lost fifty pounds, her hair had turned gray, and her mother and older children didn't recognize her at the airport. She and her children now live under false identities, and have also learned that some of her in-laws left Iran permanently, because they were so appalled at what happened to her.
Mar 04, Alicia Krauchuk Fenton rated it really liked it. I think this was my first introduction to the middle east and what it was like to be a woman in their culture. I enjoyed the book, I was grateful for her courage, and I'm wondering where they are today. I'll Google to find out. I've read this maybe 20 years ago, when I was a teenager.
Based on my gut, I'd give it 4 stars. Because to this day I remember the book, and I remember how terrified I felt reading it. It left an impression. It's had an impact. However, I've seen issues raised concerning racism etc. Feb 25, Arushi rated it it was ok. People are divided in opinion about the veracity of the story. As for me, it does not really matter.
The story is believable and could be true. The negatives pointed out could be true - Not for a whole country, only individual elements here and there. Betty herself has acknowledged in the book that 'you cannot categorize a person by nationality' pg She couldn't even have survived and escaped if all the Iran countrymen were bad.
So, the rebukes on her supposed Iran bashing are actually inva People are divided in opinion about the veracity of the story.
So, the rebukes on her supposed Iran bashing are actually invalid. She is merely recounting an experience where a group of people did not treat her well, and she is not generalizing it. Anyone reading the book could make out that in places where she calls Moody's family 'Iranians', it is merely due to the sheer number of relatives gathered.
Also, a point noted by my fellow readers is that the time this book was written was a totally different time. So, do not compare it with the present. In the beginning it did feel like a woman whining, but that lasted only for the first chapters.
The fear of a mother for her daughter's safety was real, and the most of the cultural differences pointed out seemed true also. A little partiality in views is allowable as each person has a different view and this is a True story. Vendidas by Zana Muhsen Book 11 editions published between and in Spanish and held by 37 WorldCat member libraries worldwide For year-old Zana Muhsen and her younger sister Nadia, born and raised in Birmingham, a six-week holiday with relatives in North Yemen sounded like the trip of a lifetime.
It turned into a living nightmare. On their arrival, Zana and her sister discovered that their father had literally sold them into marriage and that they were helpless prisoners. The girls had to adapt to a completely alien way of life, living in primitive stone houses with dung-plastered walls and no running water.
They suffered rape, frequent beatings and the terrifying ordeal of childbirth on bare mud floors with only old women in attendance. After eight years of misery and humiliation, Zana escaped, and her story is as shocking as it is heart-rending. Not without my daughter by Betty Mahmoody Visual 12 editions published between and in 4 languages and held by 35 WorldCat member libraries worldwide Dramatization of an American woman whose husband travels to his native land of Iran with the intent of never returning to the U.
When she states she was held captive and not allowed to leave the home without permission and supervision, I believe her. And when she claims she was physically reprimanded for disobedience to Moody's whims, I believe her. Because it happened to me along with too many more incidents to write about here. The biggest difference was that my ordeal took place in Norfolk, Virginia in between and I can only imagine how terrible it might have been had I agreed to accompany my ex-husband back to Iran.
And for the record, I had several other American friends also married to Iranian men that endured some of these same hardships. Yes, I'm well aware of Seyyed Mahmoody's own account of what happened. But I have a third perspective, and thank you, I'll at least believe my own story.
Betty simply gave an affirmation to my own truth. I very much understand that trials of hardship, very many of which I have experienced myself. However, I do pose the question to everyone defending Betty Mahmoody. I am NOT saying that there isnt any truth comming from her lips to our ears, But I really do wonder how many people have researched both sides of the story. Mahmoody described in great detail how they had to drastically change virtually every aspect of their lives after returning to the United States to ensure their future safety.
Perhaps only those in a witness protection program can truly relate. For the Love of a Child isn't all about them, though. A sizable chunk of the book, possibly most of the book, is on the general topic of international child abduction. Such a transition sounds like it would be jarring and the topic itself dull, but not only is this not true, the story never loses its furious page-turning momentum.
This is likely because Mahmoody put a human face on this highly disturbing, remarkably difficult-to-solve issue--one that's more common than many realize--by shining a spotlight on a few different families struggling daily with having had a child abducted across international lines.
These are tales similar to her own in that they are spouse versus spouse, but the similarity stops there.
Each story is unique, replete with fascinating details, and each has its own high drama that will shock at the same time that it shatters the heart. The first part takes off where Betty and her daughter Mahtob return to the US after escaping an abusive husband in Iran.
Betty became involved in assisting parents involved in the parental abduction nightmare. The remainder of the book gives a few truly heart-wrenching stories. This is the part that moved me immensely. While reading these stories however, I was curious to know more since some have no resolution and leave you hanging. I kept hoping for updates and wish that there was a revised edition since this was published in The writing style is probably not the best.
I seldom judge a book based on writing style alone anyway. Mahtob has recently published a book which I look forward to reading soon. This book was no where near as good as the first one but it's because it's with a different author I guess and the writing just wasn't great.
Having said that, this book needs to be read.
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